Monthly Archives: September 2009

Horny

September 29, 2009 | about mommygeekology, featured, married life | Tags: let's talk about sexxx

Hello. My name is MommyGeek, and I am a horny bitch.

I got dressed up today because I want to get laid. My inlaws are in town and all I can think about is getting laid. I think I have a problem. And the first step is admitting it, yes? And then the next step is getting laid, right? Oh please say yes.*

Can I trust you? Can I make a full confession here? I love sex. A lot. It’s amazing. I love sex even more now that I’ve found a partner who truly understands my …..exotic tastes. I’ve found a man who can give me multiple orgasms. Who knows just which buttons to push, and how long to push, and how hard.

It fucking rocks.*

Despite what my mother thought, I am not an easy girl. I held firmly onto my virginity until I was 19, and then my first experiences with sex weren’t very great. One guy “surprised” me with a back door entrance (NO!) and another had hair that smelled like dirt. After another called me a broad, I was done. Until I met DaddyGeek.

He made love to me on a Thursday. It’s one of my favorite days of the week. Always has been. He whispered the most wonderful, poetic, beautiful things in my ear, and he truly worshiped my body. (It’s probably the most gentle sex we’ve ever had!) It was amazing. I think of it often.

There was a time, when we had first moved in together, that I lived in his Air Force dorm room with him. We lived in a tiny itty bitty room – I think it was probably 10×10 or 9×10 – but we loved it. We were young (we still are) and in love. Most importantly, we were in lust.

We made whoopie several times a day, every day, for weeks on end. One day he rebuffed my advances, saying in a tiny, pathetic voice – “I can’t do it again. I’m chafing. It hurts!” Poor little guy!*

We had every kind of sex. We had loud sex. Floor sex. Bed sex. Standing sex. Sitting sex. Traditional sex. Quickie sex. Marathon sex.

Oh, the Google hits I shall get.

Now we have two children and a two bedroom apartment. Geeklet’s crib is in our room. It’s hard to find time, energy, and space. Especially when all we want is a little kink. We manage, just not as often as we’d like. I mean let’s face it – I’ve had two children. No matter how youthful, taut and slim my body was pre-kids, it’s suffered. And though I don’t think I cut too bad of a figure at this point, there are places I’d rather hide. Sometimes I can’t get up the energy to have sex simply because I feel disgusting.

I find it helps if I get a little dressed up. Today I passed on the comfy khakis and plain vneck shirt and went for a nice pair of black business slacks, deep purple tank and cute little gray jacket. I went with heels. I put on a little makeup. I pulled my hair back into a bun. I feel like the Secretary. (Have I mentioned that that the movie that made me realize just how much I enjoy the kink?) It’s been a little while, but too long however you count it. I need this. I truly believe sex is a critical part of marriage.

His birthday is coming up. A joke was made, but I’m seriously considering it – don’t buy anything for him except a big red bow. My gift won’t be appropriate at the family party, but he’ll appreciate it more than a gift certificate. ::seductive wink::

Today, though. Today I am so damn horny. I hope you don’t see me on Twitter tonight.

*Yup, those are sex puns! You clever little thing.

PS I apologize for the rambling. It’s not my fault. All I can think about is sex. It’s like I’m fourteen. And male.

Update:

Say Something

They Say it’s Your Birthday

September 28, 2009 | General, making memories | Tags: birthday, bloggers are cool, vlog

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So, Renee – Happy Birthday to you from all of us!

Note: The below video is embarrassing. It’s me singing. Yes. Me. Singing. Please note that I’ve been quite sick and I have crap in my throat. Also? It’s late. And I worked my f*cking ass off today because my inlaws are coming and please god don’t make fun of me k?

Love you babe. Have a wonderful, amazing 40th. And for the record? You’re hawt. Don’t ever, ever forget it.

Yeah, I just posted that video. I love ya that much. MUAH.

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GTT – Romance Novels

September 24, 2009 | General, about mommygeekology, featured | Tags: girl talk thursday, let's talk about sexxx, marital bliss

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Don’t forget to visit Girl Talk Thursday and link up your own Romance Novel post on Mr. Linky and check out all the other great posts! Play along!

I love romance novels. My mother still reads them diligently, and I definitely grab one from time to time. I learned a lot – a lot – about sex from these books, people. Forget about locking up your vibrator, you can pass that off as a toy, a massager or a bomb. Lock up your romance novels. I read my first one when I was about 11, I think. My mom didn’t know I had it, and it was racy. I mean, really racy. It also introduced me to the word of bondage, but that’s a whole ‘nother story. In fact, I’m terribly dissapointed because I can’t remember what book it was!

My favorite books to read are based in one of two historical times — either some point in history where there are courtesans, elaborate dresses, dashing men on horseback and possibly a dalliance in the servants quarters, or the old West.

I love me some cowboys.

My absolute favorite stories are the ones where she does not want to love the man – but he makes her. He woos her, he fucks her, she gives in to the pure sexual tension and then they find love – but only after some absolutely ridiculous sex because that is the whole point of these books, girls.

Ok. I need to find a Barnes & Noble and a dark room with a lock. Now.

Say Something

Update: We know (hardly) nothing. sigh

September 23, 2009 | about mommygeekology | Tags: mother, this is my blog and i'll cry if i want to

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First of all? Thank you all, ALL of you, for the amazing, kind, wonderful emails and tweets and comments that you left about this. It really, really helped. And now, my stream-of-consciousness-update. I apologize in advance for the babbling. Bullet style.

It took forever to get into the city yesterday for the ultrasound appointment, and then the GYN. When we finally arrived at 2:20 for our 1:30pm appointment at the ultrasound place, we were told that her appointment was actually at 3pm. Which made no sense, because her appointment with the GYN was at 3pm, and the GYN made this ultrasound appointment for us. Whatever. I left like 3 messages with “Jeannie” the receptionist but apparently she’s not fit to do her job because she didn’t bother to call me back and reassure us that we’d still have our appointment.
The ultrasound was clear!
Off we went to the GYN, where I waited in the waiting room for over an hour while she was in with the doctor, jumping everytime a nurse or a patient came through the door because I was waiting for her to come out. Luckily I had some awesome tweets and emails coming my way, which made it a lot easier to take. I also read the latest issue of Time cover to cover, which I have never done, so I’m feeling very up to date on current events. I feel smartish. I might subscribe.
Ok, the subscription was $20 but I did it anyway because I sort of liked feeling smartish. And I’m terrible about watching the news, so this might help me a bit. We’ll see if I cancel.
She finally got out of the appointment, and it turns out they couldn’t get the sample for the biopsy. The doctor stopped because after three numbing shots and Mom taking her pain medication, she was still in agony and she couldn’t “torture” her anymore. It makes me sick to think of how much that procedure hurts normally, times about a hundred because of the severity of her illness*.
So, we are going back at the end of November. To do it again. I feel horrible, because she has to go through the entire ordeal again, PLUS all the waiting time. The doctor did say that she was fairly confident everything is fine, but that she wanted to be absolutely sure considering my mother’s symptoms.
Next, we go deal with a patch of skin cancer on her leg. Or, what is almost definitely skin cancer, her doctor said. When it rains it pours, right?

* I won’t name the illness here because I don’t want her to find this blog. I’m paranoid about it. Very. very. very. paranoid.

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Anxious.

September 22, 2009 | about mommygeekology | Tags: brutally honest, cancer, mother, this is my blog and i'll cry if i want to

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Today, at around 12:15pm, I am going to leave my office, go with my husband and pick up my mother and children. We are going to drop my husband and the kids off, and my mother and I are going to continue on to a doctor in the city. A good doctor. A doctor who is going to perform an ultrasound. Then we’ll go to another doctor. Another good doctor. That doctor is going to do a full exam, get a sample for biopsy, and generally put my mother through excruciating pain.

All this to wait, wait wait, wait wait wait wait wait…. and then hopefully, we’ll hear “No.It’s not cancerous” Not that it ends there. Then we go see a dermatologist. Because the spot on her leg most likely is cancer.

I know that I’ve posted about my problems with her. We have our troubles. We have our good times too. No matter what she is still my mother. I’m terrified.

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Things I Never Thought I Would Say

September 17, 2009 | making memories | Tags: cupcake, geeklet, parenting, toddlers = awesome, toddlers = evil

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“Yes, you can eat under the table as long as you are quiet.“

“Yes, those are Mommy’s boobies. No, you can’t touch them.”

“Don’t smother your sister!”

“No! We do NOT eat POOP!”

“That’s called your vagina.”
“My ‘agina?”
[stifled horrified laughter - good lord that sounds wrong coming from her]
“No, Mommy was wrong. Those are your lady parts.”

“Get that plug out of your mouth. Now. Seriously.”

“We do NOT eat lightbulbs. Ever!”

“OH MY GOD there is a Phineas and Ferb WIKI. I’m in love.” [bookmarking it]

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Mommy Geek 2.0 (beta)

September 15, 2009 | about mommygeekology, philosophy | Tags: administrative, bloggers are cool, it's all about me, my house my rules, parenting

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This post heavily inspired by Sam’s post, “Beta Much,” posted over a year ago on her personal blog Temporarily Me. Ever since I’ve read that post, the phrase has stuck in my head. “Beta much?” I ask myself, as I leave the house in sweatpants tshirt, no bra and flips flops in the pouring rain to get some hamburg for dinner. “Beta much” I ask myself, as I send my daughter to my mother’s house in her pajamas – again. “Beta much? I wonder, when the dishes have piled up so high we don’t have anything clean, and instead of washing them I buy paper plates and plastic utensils. Sam says, at the end of her post, “I couldn’t be happier. I. Am. BETA MOM.” That really sums it up for me.

When I first started this new blog, I entitled it Mommy Geekology. As I thought about it, I added “2.0″ – for multiple reasons. It’s my second attempt at a blog since I’ve become a mother, and I’m a mother of two.

The site is in need of a facelift, and as soon as I can get together a few spare minutes, I’ll surely work on it. I’ve been conceptualizing, though – trying to figure out what this site means, what I write about most, and why you’re here.

I don’t specifically write about motherhood all the time. I certainly don’t write about technology as I thought I would – not the right audience, so I’m bringing those articles to my business blog (I’ll write about that soon, I promise!). I write a lot of my self discovery, who I am as a person and as a mother. This is the place where I don’t have to wipe snot or shit, just my space. If you blog, I bet you know what I mean when I say that I want to find a way for it to be representative of me.

When I do get my new site layout completed, I’ll be adding to the title. Mommy Geekology 2.0 (beta). Because like Sam, I feel very much as though I’m still in beta.

Sure, with this second child, we’re reaching a more stable version of me. I get things right more often than I used to – at least, I hope I am. I’m slightly less of an emotional wreck. I’ve fixed mistakes I’d made in the past, and done some things right with Geeklet that I got wrong with Cupcake.

There are still bugs.

I’ve got a few glitches.

But, I’m headed somewhere good. I feel more confident about motherhood now – over three years into it, sure, but here I stand. In Sam’s words, which I truly cannot get out of my head — “I couldn’t be happier. I. Am. BETA MOM.”

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Roundup: Crap I did last week

September 14, 2009 | General | Tags: it's all about me, roundup

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I posted a lot last week, very unusual for me to post nearly every day, even twice a day, and yet there I was. A posting machine.

So, let’s round it up, shall we? You wouldn’t want to miss even one moment of this hawtness. Ha.

On Monday, I wrote about my personal theory of relativity (and had to listen to my husband try to explain the actual theory of relativity to me), which actually has little to do with my relatives, so read away. This post was also featured on Five Star Friday, because my readers rock.(sidenote you don’t care about: that is the first blog award/badge/whatever thingy that I have ever been nominated for!)

On Tuesday, I was super kind and didn’t make you read my blog. I know. You’re welcome. (Although I did write a post for my yet-to-be-revealed in great fanfare business blog about why you should move to Gmail)

On Wednesday, I keep it easy on the eyes and did it Wordless style. Pictures of my adorable children await you.

By Thursday, I was on a roll, and I just had to post on the Girl Talk Thursday topic – Halloween Costumes. I shared an embarrassing picture of me, made it worse by pointing out things you wouldn’t have noticed otherwise, and generally hoped you’d focus on my cute kid.

Friday was a horrible day for me, which, if you are unfortunate enough to be following me on Twitter, I made very, very clear throughout the day. Sorry y’all. I posted twice – once about my enormous clutter problem, and once with some very bad angsty poetry.

So now you’re all caught up!

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Never Good Enough for You

September 11, 2009 | about mommygeekology | Tags: brutally honest, i can't make this sh*t up, mommy dearest, my family is crazy, posts I might regret, this is my blog and i'll cry if i want to

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No matter what I do, it’s never good enough for you.
It makes me blue.
I try so hard to be sympathetic,
But no matter what you think I don’t get it.
Despite emails, letters, calls, and hugs,
You accuse me of sweeping your problems under the rug.

Your pain is palpable, and it affects me,
Sometimes I feel like I’ve run out of sympathy,
I want to make it go away,
But comes back day after day.

This poem sucks, but no matter,
You’ll never read it.

I like to think that last bit was poetic,
But honestly? It’s probably pathetic.
My English teacher would be ashamed,
Bad Poetry: One more thing for which I’m blamed.

You’ve said I’m uncaring, callous and selfish,
I’m not sure why you can’t see through my defense(ish).
You analyze every single action,
You don’t see my attempted benefaction.

It matters not how hard I try,
For in the end – I’ll surely cry.
Whether by your own hand,
Or “Nautrally,”
When you’re gone I’ll feel empty.

You seem to think that I don’t care,
But I care too much – none left to spare.

Your every word, wince, tear and scream
Hurt me more than you’ve ever seen.

I love you, not sure how to go on
When it’s clear you think I’m so wrong.

“I’ll never fix you before I die” you say,
That is how you hurt me today.
Tomorrow, it’ll be another phrase,
While I wander, crying, through this maze.

I’m so sorry that you’re hurting, and I’m so sorry that you are so scared. I’m scared too. I just wish that you didn’t hurt me in your attempts to feel better.

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My house is full of clutter. HALP!

September 11, 2009 | about mommygeekology, photoblog | Tags: ask the readers, confession, FAIL, I suck at housework, I'm bad at this game

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I don’t understand how we have so much crap and no place to put it. We’ve moved way too many times, purged way too many times, to have accumulated this much crap. I do not understand.

Unfortunately, my inability to understand how we got here does not actually do anything about the problem. So we have piles. Everywhere.

Someone help me. PLEASE! Because if I drown in clutter, I won’t be able to blog here anymore. And, obviously, that is some sort of national emergency.

Note: I iz cheep. Therefore, the gorgeous storage solutions look amazing, but I iz cheep, and therefore will not and in many cases, cannot buy them. Ha! I do love me some IKEA, and may be willing to invest there, but OMG I get a little bit scared when I look at the catalogue because there are so many choices.

So.

HALP!