“Yes, you can eat under the table as long as you are quiet.“
“Yes, those are Mommy’s boobies. No, you can’t touch them.”
“Don’t smother your sister!”
“No! We do NOT eat POOP!”
“That’s called your vagina.”
“My ‘agina?”
[stifled horrified laughter - good lord that sounds wrong coming from her]
“No, Mommy was wrong. Those are your lady parts.”
“Get that plug out of your mouth. Now. Seriously.”
“We do NOT eat lightbulbs. Ever!”
“OH MY GOD there is a Phineas and Ferb WIKI. I’m in love.” [bookmarking it]
And then you start telling them WE DO NOT EAT THE GARBAGE.
Miss Grace´s last blog ..PSA
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MommyGeek Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 8:50 AM
@Miss Grace, good lord. I hope I don’t get that point. I mean, I hope they don’t eat it. I plan on telling them not to, if they do.
It’s too early for this.
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hahaha – isn’t it funny what inquiring minds want to know?
Yesterday, my daughter came home and asked ‘what’s a lespian, Mom?’ I almost choked on my dinner…then had to explain. OH JOY!
~K
kel´s last blog ..Don’t wake the monkey.
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MommyGeek Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 8:49 AM
@kel, I hope you went with “Thespian” and told her someone who loves theatre
Haha.
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nic @mybottlesup´s last blog ..tense
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MommyGeek Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 8:49 AM
@nic @mybottlesup, well considering Magoo’s troubles, I don’t blame you!
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Nothing wrong with eating under that table!
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MommyGeek Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 9:35 AM
@Melissa Dominic, ha, an older generation would disagree, but I say fuck em.
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Hahahahha!! Oh I need to start writing mine down. I bet I’d have a whole post full of great gems. And those moments, when you are trying DESPERATELY not to laugh?? Yeah….horrible!
Kekibird´s last blog ..The Next Hogwarts Student
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MommyGeek Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 1:39 PM
@Kekibird, yeah we’ve had a few moments with some “choice” words where I had to hold it in for fear of undermining my admonishment
haha.
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boobies!!! my toddler, who hasn’t been breastfed in almost 2 years, has recently become enthralled with my boobies. which is especially weird b/c it’s been months since i stopped breastfeeding the baby. constantly touching “those are your boobies?” and even pulling down my shirt “your boobies in there?” it’s bizarre!
Erin´s last blog ..To work or to stay-at-home?
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MommyGeek Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 1:39 PM
@Erin, my kids weren’t breastfed long, either – so a total mystery! Although, not really… I do walk around my house naked a bit in the morning when I’m searching for clothes. Sadly, they stay in baskets around the house and never see my closet.
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LOL ah the joys of motherhood.
becky´s last blog ..Why I’m never going to be mother of the year
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MommyGeek Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 1:56 PM
@becky, I’m keeping track. They are getting NAILED when they are teens.
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oh – the things we say we SWEAR we will never say (before we had kids!) and if you watched dr laura berman on oprah – it’s vulva, not vagina!!! enjoy your day!
scrappysue´s last blog ..good’n'crazy
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MommyGeek Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 5:09 PM
@scrappysue, lol, I know, and that sounds EVEN WORSE.
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LMAO!!!
Oh, and thanks for the heads up on ‘aginas. Marking ‘lady parts’ down in my toddler speak dictionary right now.
PrincessJenn´s last blog ..OverSelfPromotionalizing
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MommyGeek Reply:
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:54 AM
@PrincessJenn, always happy to help. As my mother always said – let my bad example serve as your warning!
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I love these. I’d like to add:
No, you can not ask Santa for a P*nis. Yes, I’m sure it would be fun to have one. Yes, I know your brother loves to pull on it. You still can’t have one.
It’s not snot. No, it’s not. It’s guacamole. But you ate it yesterday. I don’t understand.
Son, dogs feet are not for licking.
Those were from this week. Ha. My all time favorite kid quote ever was when Bailey was two. She screams out in Target: My mommy has big bo.op.ies.
Issa´s last blog ..Follow Friday #4, My Life Out of Focus
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MommyGeek Reply:
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:55 AM
@Issa, um, LOL. I totally wanted to ask Santa for a penis.
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I’ve said a number of those myself. Particularly the lightbulb and poop ones. I guess they must look tasty.
C @ Kid Things´s last blog ..Sleep Deprivation
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MommyGeek Reply:
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:55 AM
@C @ Kid Things, I think THAT is what disturbs me the most.
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LMAO, I love this. I have been guilty of saying several of those myself. I also never imagined that I’d have to explain reproduction to a 3 year old (I have a blog about that myself…LOL).
Thanks so much to Princess Prose for linking to you. I needed a good laugh today. I look forward to reading your next blog.
Jeni´s last blog ..If you can’t hold your liquor….
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MommyGeek Reply:
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:56 AM
@Jeni, lol I’ll need to search that out, sounds HILARIOUS.
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Why can’t we eat lightbulbs?!
Marinka´s last blog ..Vows
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MommyGeek Reply:
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:57 AM
@Marinka, well. That explains a few things.
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I love the lightbulbs one. I say outrageous things all the time. One of my favorites ever was hearing myself yelling (outside my house where all of the neighbors could hear me), “Naked people stay inside! NAKED PEOPLE STAY INSIDE!”
Kate Coveny Hood´s last blog ..Oh Right – I Was Going to Write About Our Summer Vacations…
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MommyGeek Reply:
September 23rd, 2009 at 11:52 AM
@Kate Coveny Hood, LOL I remember that post, and it is my absolute FAVORITE.
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I’m pretty sure I’ve said most of those things myself… except for the last one.
And I’m happy to see in the comments that I’m not the only one that finds it acceptable to live out of laundry baskets rather than a closet.
When you get a chance – head over to my blog, there’s something there for you
Kelly´s last blog ..I’m Special…
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MommyGeek Reply:
September 23rd, 2009 at 12:00 PM
@Kelly, I LIVE FOR VALIDATION.
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We would you change “vagina” or “agina” as your toddler said? You told her the correct word why dumb it down just because it “sounds horrible”? I don’t care for the word either but maybe it’s because the grown ups in my life gave me silly word/phrases such as “lady parts” or “Patootie” or “whoo, whoo” or many other ridiculous names to describe my vagina. Perhaps that’s why I, a grown woman, still don’t like the word for the a basic, necessary body part that makes me a woman. Don’t teach your child that “Vagina” is a bad word. It isn ‘t a bad word, and above all if you seem uncomfortable talking to her about he very natural questions concerning a very important and natural part of her, she too will learn to feel uncomfortable with herself. Is that really something you want to pass on?
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MommyGeekology Reply:
December 15th, 2009 at 8:14 PM
@stonesapphire, I think maybe you missed the point of the post – humor – rather than a statement on the appropriateness of the proper analogical terms for our body parts. We will, and do, absolutely encourage the use of proper terminology, but the first time you hear a kid say it can sound very strange!
Sorry to hear that you don’t feel comfortable using the word vagina. Though I think regardless of what your parents did, our society has discouraged it – that has a major effect as well.
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