Cupcake,

You will be four years old in June, and you say the funniest things. Your vocabulary is growing in leaps and bounds (hell, you know what leaps & bounds means!) and you surprise me, all the time. It’s little things. Today while we were going potty you put your hand on my knee while getting your Pull-Up on. You said to me, “I’m holding your knee to keep me steady!”

For some reason, that sentence crushed me. You’re not a baby anymore. You use words like steady in context, instead of just saying “so I don’t fall down.”

You are currently obsessed with dresses. Not all dresses. In fact, half the time the “dress”you want to wear is a tunic with leggings. Your favorite, though, is this shirt and pant combo that Nana gave you. It’s light purple with little white flowers all over it. The shirt has a ruffle on the bottom and it’s a little bit long. You call it your purple dress. You would wear this every day if you could. You completely freak out when we tell you it is dirty and needs to be washed.

Last night you were extra cranky. You missed your nap, and I didn’t catch your tired signals in time. Nothing made you happy! You wanted more tv, but I shut it off AND made you put on pajamas. OH THE INJUSTICE OF IT ALL. You pouted and balled up your little fists and said “Mommy, you made me mad because you turned the tv off. You made me mad because you put these ‘jamas on me. I’m grumpy.”

I told you that I was proud of you for using your words instead of having a temper tantrum, and then I played peekaboo and tickled you into a good mood again.

You are so independent, my beautiful girl. I long to hold you and cuddle you all the time but you just want to run and play. I cherish our moments. I love you.

Love,
Mommy (thank god you started calling me Mommy again! )

My dearest, darlingest Renee,

First of all, let me say that I love you. You’re sweet & kind & open-hearted, and you deserve so much happiness. You have a beautiful family, Crapshack or no, and I know that Bunny is the light of you & your husband’s lives.

Your blog is one of the first that I began reading. We commented back & forth, twittered together from time to time, and I began to think of you as a friend. When I read that you were trying to adopt a son, a brother to Bunny, from Ethiopia, my heart was so full of hope for you. But the process was stalling, and understandably you were nervous and anxious.

I met you at BlogHer. We wandered Chicago together, we chatted, we got a pedicure together! We ran in the rain, and we visited a tattoo parlor. We both thought about getting tattoos but chickened out. I had a lot of fun with you, hon. You were a highlight for me that weekend. Sitting at dinner with you and Issa (our virtual host today) at that Italian restaurant a couple of days later was wonderful. I learned a lot about you, and I liked it all. You are a wonderful mother. You’ve already written Lion a letter. You sit and play dinos with Bunny for hours. You love her artwork. You encourage her creativity and yes, you may stumble, but we all do. You’re human, and you’re approachable, and warm.

Now you’ll be a mother a second time over. You’ll have a son, which I hear means you’ll be a different kind of mother as well. In fact, you’re already a mother a second time over. You already have a son. Your son. Lion. I’ve only got girls, so I can’t give you any advice on boys.  But I can give you a little hint about life with two kids.

It’s busy. You’ll be exhausted. At some point, it’ll seem like there is never a time when someone isn’t screaming, crying or whining.  But it’s OK, because you will have wonderful moments when they play together & love each other, or they both tackle you with giggles and smiles and hugs and kisses. It will make up for all the difficulty, I promise. I think you already know that.

You’ll be frazzled, but just whip out your iPhone and tweet us! We’re here for you. I personally would be honored to share the experience with you.

I’m too far away to throw you a party. I can’t make you a mimosa or pour you a beer and raise a glass to you in celebration. What I can do is take a little time to write for you. Take a little part of my space and dedicate it to you, and to your happiness.

So here’s to you, and your husband, and Bunny, and Lion. Especially Lion. That beautiful little boy has a wonderful mother, and I know I’ll be praying that you will see him & take him home in just a few short weeks. March, maybe. That would be perfect – in like a lion, out like a lamb.

Oh, and the most important advice I can give you: stop now. Now, you have one parent for each kid. At three, you run out of hands and you become outnumbered. (haha)