About a kajillion years ago, in 1999, when the dinosaurs roamed the earth, Savage Garden came out with a song that rocked me to my core. Affirmation. This song is everything I’ve ever thought. This song is like my mission statement. This song is my prayer. This song weaves melody and words into the intricate patterns that make up the tapestry of my heart and soul.
“I believe the sun should never set upon an argument”
This is a rule in my home, and I try to adhere to it as much as possible. Don’t go to bed angry, my grandmother and my mother have always said. It’s a way to make sure we make an effort to make it right. It’s how we ensure that resentment and anger don’t fester overnight, flooding our dreams, filling us will anxiety. It’s an affirmation of our love and devotion to each other as a family or as friends, a way to say this means something to me.
“I believe we place our happiness in other people’s hands…I believe I’m loved when I’m completely by myself alone”
We look too often to outside sources for happiness and confidence. We rely heavily on our friendships, social standing, careers or otherwise to provide us the happiness that we crave and deserve. It’s not always bad. A community, friendships, careers, these are all great things. But I also believe that we need to reach deep down within ourselves and find a happiness there. A happiness in just being alive, a happiness in being ourselves regardless of our circumstances, our friendships or status symbols. We need some joy in ourselves, and we need to protect it like the most precious gem. There will always be times of hardship, and that gem may save us and give us the strength to rise above.
“I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do”
Isn’t that what we’re all doing? It doesn’t mean there aren’t bad parents out there. It doesn’t mean that they didn’t know it was wrong, or know they should do better. But I think that it’s fair to say that we’re doing the best job we know how to do. Now, whether that’s actually any good or not… well time will tell.
“I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned”
I try to do good deeds. I try to hold doors, and put my grocery cart away, and spread a little love and happiness where I can, when I can. I give to charities but I also love to send my friends little gifts and care packages… just because. I hope that my kind words and good deeds have something to do with the luck, love and happiness that I’ve had in my life.
“I believe you can’t appreciate real love ’til you’ve been burned”
I have this theory about love. I think that every love counts. Puppy love, “true love” – it doesn’t matter. It all counts. I think we have a tendency to look back on our lives, once we attain what we feel is the greatest pinnacle of love we’ve ever achieved, and say – “that wasn’t really love“. I disagree. I think we loved as well as we knew how. We loved to our fullest capacity. It hurt when it ended, but I believe that with that love, and that hurt, we allowed our hearts to grow to accept greater love (and, subsequently, greater pain). I love my husband with every fiber of my being. But if I die tomorrow? I hope that he goes on to find someone else to love, eventually. I hope it will be a love just as great, or greater, than ours is now.
“I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don’t know what you’ve got until you say goodbye”
Every story has at least two sides, and every side has it’s trials and tribulations. Nothing is perfect, nothing, no matter how it may appear. When I drive on the highway, I usually pick a lane and stick to it. History has told me that unless I’m willing to be reckless, switching to a lane that appears to be going faster never helps. Traffic is going the same way. Eventually that lane will slow and I’ll look longingly at the car I was behind just a few minutes ago as it speeds past. I believe that loss sharpens our vision and provides enough perspective for us to see what we may have been missing or taking for granted.
“I believe you can’t control or choose your sexuality
I believe that trust is more important than monogamy
I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul
I believe that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed”
I’m bisexual, and when I was in high school my mother asked me when I was going to “get over this phase.” It was one of the most hurtful things she’s ever said to me, because she didn’t, and couldn’t, accept who I am. It doesn’t come up anymore because I’m married to a man, but it still hurts. I’m married to a man whom I trust and love, and our sexual preferences mean that one day, we may invite someone else into our bedroom from time to time. Trust is more important than monogamy. We’ve both changed since we were married. We aren’t as skinny as we used to be. I don’t wear makeup every day anymore. But it doesn’t matter. We love each other as whole people – not as an attractive combination of body parts. Our love is more than a raw sexual passion. I use a tag on this site – marital bliss – you’ll note that those posts aren’t all about being naked. I mean, some of them are… but you get my point.
“I believe that family is worth more than money or gold”
I don’t think that I need to elaborate much on this one. If there is any one of you who disagrees with this statement I will say that I cannot fathom, at all, what you are thinking. I’d add to this list that my friends? My friends fall just beneath my family. Money is farther down… and only important in that it allows me to provide for my family, and my friends.
“I believe in love surviving death into eternity”
I believe in Heaven, or some version of it. I believe that we will see our loved ones again. I believe that I will be able to look down & watch over my loved ones when I die. Barring that, then at least let me wander the earth as a ghost of some sort so I can scare the bejeezus out of anyone trying to hurt my friends or family. Or both. I’m good with both.
In all seriousness though – I don’ t think love stops when we die. Those who are living continue to love us, and I believe that those who pass to wherever, or whatever, the Other Side is, continue to love us as well.
Full lyrics
I believe the sun should never set upon an argument
I believe we place our happiness in other people’s hands
I believe that junk food tastes so good because it’s bad for you
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do
I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem
I believe I’m loved when I’m completely by myself alone
I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can’t appreciate real love ’til you’ve been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don’t know what you’ve got until you say goodbye
I believe you can’t control or choose your sexuality
I believe that trust is more important than monogamy
I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul
I believe that family is worth more than money or gold
I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair
I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires
I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can’t appreciate real love ’til you’ve been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don’t know what you’ve got until you say goodbye
I believe forgiveness is the key to your own happiness
I believe that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed
I believe that God does not endorse tv evangelists
I believe in love surviving death into eternity
I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can’t appreciate real love ’til you’ve been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don’t know what you’ve got until you say goodbye
I really like this and it makes me sad that your mom thought it was a phase. ((HUGS)) you’re a strong beautiful woman!
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MommyGeek Reply:
March 3rd, 2010 at 10:40 AM
@Becky @TheRealbecks, thanks hun! It’s not eating me away, which is good, right?
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what a cool effing post. Music was so incredibly important to me once upon a time. Now I feel relegated to Old MacDonald ad The Wheels on the Bus. But every so often, I remember. I stumble onto Jane’s Addiction on the radio or play Bjork really loud during naptime. My music makes me feel like me. And I love your theory about love.
Kami´s last blog ..Off My Chest and Onto Yours (I’m Not Talking Boobs Here, People)
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MommyGeek Reply:
March 3rd, 2010 at 10:40 AM
@Kami, I completely agree about music… it definitely helps me remember who I am.
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I, um, might have this CD…and I think this is one of the best songs on it.
I too have a couple of songs that speak to me, and who I am and how I live my life.
I’m sorry your mom felt that way. I hope she understands now that sexuality isn’t a choice, it’s just who you are.
avasmommy´s last blog ..These Are the Moments
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MommyGeek Reply:
March 3rd, 2010 at 10:41 AM
@avasmommy, she doesn’t, but it’s fine. She was raised in a different time, and it’s not worth arguing with her. She doesn’t make an issue of it, at least.
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Your voice is so clear & has such great style… I love it when you write, especially like this – intensely. You know, warrior blogging
Well done, my friend.
xo,
K
PS – for my stuff? I’m ready when you are!
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MommyGeek Reply:
March 3rd, 2010 at 10:41 AM
@@kristeneileen, thank you! Email me re: the site!
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Oh I puffy heart Savage Garden! Did then & still do. (Darren Hayes is my gay lovah!! :p) I had a penpal from New Zealand back then and she used to send me magazine clippings about them since they weren’t half as big over here. “Affirmation” is awesome, “Crash & Burn” hit home too as well as “I don’t know you anymore” and haven’t we all felt like “Gunning down Romance”??
. Actually to think about it, that CD kicked ASS!
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MommyGeek Reply:
March 3rd, 2010 at 10:41 AM
@Ashley, me too!!! I need to get that CD again… no idea where it went. Had it years ago!
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It’s so odd to me how some people react to the bisexual thing. A close friend’s mom was convinced that it was okay to be gay or straight but not bi (and actually had a hard time accepting her child dating the opposite sex!). So odd.
My view on sexuality (my own, at least) is that there is an emotional connection that I’m looking for and the rest will fall into place. When I have been single, I considered myself open to whatever although I’ve only ever had connections with men.
Ewokmama´s last blog ..Sometimes ya gotta get mean
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MommyGeek Reply:
March 3rd, 2010 at 10:42 AM
@Ewokmama, I love your view on sexuality. That situation with your friend & her mother is very very odd!
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