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posts about our family life

To my friend

Categories: about mommygeekology, making memories | Tags: , ,

For the past 10 years there has been one friend who has been a constant. We aren’t “BFFs” in the traditional sense. We don’t talk every day or even every month, but when we do talk it’s like no time has passed since our last conversation. I am sure that we’ve missed huge chunks of each others’ lives, but it hasn’t pushed us apart.

For the last 10 years, I could always count on Mike to be my friend. And I think that I will for the next ten, too.

I met Mike when I started dating his best friend. Then we broke up. Mike remained my friend, which is impressive considering we were in high school (oh! the drama!). It didn’t matter. In the face of high school drama, boyfriends and girlfriends, different colleges and different interests, marriage, kids … we remain friends. Considering how many friends I’ve lost over the years due to those circumstances, it’s remarkable to me.

Other than my husband, he’s the only person whose phone number I have memorized.

We have one of those comfortable friendships; we’ve known each other so long, and through all the awkward periods, the rebellious periods, and now, this, the finally starting the rest of our lives period (at least, that’s sort of how it feels to me).

We had dinner the other night. I asked him what sex toys he uses with his GF and he told me. I let him read this blog AND I don’t feel censored for it. We are comfortable in silence and we are comfortable drunk. I trust him to drive and I tell him my secrets.

There are few things better in the world than a good friend.

Mike, thanks for being my friend. Thanks for teaching me the word “gaggle” and inspiring me to write a song. Thanks for good hugs and Jimmy Eat World. Thanks for punk covers and someone to reminisce about high school with. Thanks for a connection to the past and something to look forward to, in the future.

You rock, dude.

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Ode to Carpet Stains

Categories: about mommygeekology, making memories, married life | Tags: ,

It’s hard enough, married with kids,
To do my wifely duty
I hate to spend time cleaning
When all hubs wants is some booty

Those damn kids keep us on our toes
With cups of juice and cookies
Our carpet full of stains – oh noes!
Makes it hard to get some nookie

I’m tired of staring at splotchy beige
When trying to get my rocks off
It’s time to turn the sexcapade page
So I can keep my socks off

Saturday, the yellow van
Bring my carpet heros, unsung
Will steam my carpets – man!
So I can finally come.

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Henceforth …

Categories: making memories, married life | Tags: , ,

If I blogged more regularly, my husband would be in major trouble. The man is walking blog fodder.

Example: Yesterday, he walked out of the bedroom smiling and holding a pair of shorts. He says, “I found my shorts! I was just walking into the bedroom and thinking about how sad it was that my shorts were lost, and then I stepped on them!”

Your shorts were lost in the middle of our bedroom floor? REALLY!?

Example: In and IM conversation today, he was complaining about something that was bothering him. He types: “It really annoyied me!” I assumed it was a typo, until he types “how the fuck do you spell annoyed? Oh, I think I just figured it out.”

Remember folks, this was an IM convo. He could have avoided the shame and humiliation of being a bad speller by simply deleting the message and chalking it up to a typo.

Example: When I told him I was going to write a post about his idiocy, he said “Oh schweeet! I’m famous, bitches!!!”

I can’t guarentee he was kidding.

Henceforth, my husband’s internet name should be He Who Makes Good Blog Fodder.

If you come deal with him for a day I give you the rights to anything he says. He’s mostly house trained.

5 Comments

BlogHer & MommyGeek 2.0

Categories: making memories, photoblog | Tags: , , , , , ,

This has happened two years in a row. I want to recap BlogHer, but I just can’t find the words.  So many of you have expressed how this event feels much better than I ever could. So many of you have shared your experiences with beautiful prose or raw feeling.

I had some great conversations about the Headway Theme for WordPress and how super duper excited I am about the newest version coming out soon (Headway sponsored me this year, because I asked, because I love their product).  I am probably going to write a post about how it relates to some of the sessions this year — namely the sessions about layout and hacking a WordPress theme. If you attended that session, I think Headway could make your life easier. And that would be good, right, cuz don’t we all just want to write?

I had a #bostonsleepover with Kat, launched her new design on a new URL, and recruited her as my new best friend. Same brain, two smokin bodies. Seriously.

I harassed and stalked @TheCaffeinatrix, even pulling a sneaky-ninja move and tracking down her cell phone number, in a desperate bid to see her Saturday night. It totally worked. She even hugged me. Summary? She hugs stalkers, basically. It’s awesome.

Every time I saw Jenny, she was wearing red. Oh, and click that link and look at the amazing header graphic that Maria created. It’s FUCKING AWESOME. I didn’t see enough of Maria, but we did get to hug. And I met her husband. He’s a cutie-pie. She’s a cutie-pie. She even said that she fell in love with him again on this trip. Gag me with a spoon, right? (::whispers:: @zennmora, call me!!)

NonaNelson is pretty much the most huggable person ever. Oh, and she’s cute on Twitter. Follow that shit.

Issa was as honest and raw and beautiful as ever. Talking to her is akin to drinking from an icy cold spring in the middle of a beautiful forest. It’s rare and wonderful and full of awesomesauce.  Also she asked about a redesign for her site and I said HELL YES! She may have been kidding. I’m not. Kari was sweet and funny and has a laugh that jut makes me want to laugh.

Megan rocked an awesome new tattoo and even some pirate socks. Crystal brought a stamp book but didn’t get a chance to look at it even once, she was too busy partying hard!

I finally met Colleen and Tatiana in the flesh and OH MY GOD THEY ARE SO FREAKING CUTE. And beautiful. And fun. I love my Girl Talk Thursday gals. Unfortunately, Diane wasn’t there.  Sad panda. Seriously. I would have loved a picture with everyone together!

I met PrincessJenn and she wisely advised me that yes I did want to try that pastry thing because it had ice cream in it. Smart girl.

I met (again) Sam (@temptingmama) and (again) loved her and her hugs forever. Oh, and she actually remembered who I was. Which was cool. (Why do I always assume people won’t know who I am?)

I saw Anissa coming out of the ladies room and, possibly much to her dismay, I ran over and gave her a big hug and sort of introduced myself (and she actually/pretended to know me, too!) and told her she looked beautiful. Because she did. Different, yes. A major stroke has that effect – but her smile, it was the same 1000 watt smile, and it was amazing.

I met and hung out with PouBou for a while, on two different nights I think (it’s all a blur). She’s a freaking cutie. Oh, and she can dance. :)

I met CosmicGirlie. HOLY SHIT did I meet CosmicGirlie. I… I have no words. She’s fucking amazing. And she has an accent, so it’s extra cute when she swears. Her personality is just way over the top and huge.

There was an impromptu party with @superjules, @papasan and his wife, @grace134 and others… who else was there?! That was the only time I got a little drunk, so I don’t quite remember it all. Just that I wasn’t expecting a party and I was wearing a nightgown. And that everyone saw my tits and/or my ass at some point because nightgown + drinking + lounging on bed = nudity. <—- memorize this. Life lesson.

I got up the nerve to sing karaoke – Should I Stay or Should I Go. I don’t think anyone really heard/saw me other than Kat, but I promise, I totally did.

I saw Stacy again. And I met BabyNater. And STACY. I have a serious not-so-secret girl-crush on Stacy. It’s pathetic really, but I can’t help myself. There were more. There are always more. I can never remember you all, it’s all a blur! I’d feel bad, but it happens to everyone.

Other thoughts! I met some amazing sponsors who really had something of value to offer me – be it information, a sample or just a great conversation (I’m lookin’ at you, Hillshr. I met some amazing people sponsoring awesome companies and doing it tastefully and tactfully. I didn’t meet any swag whores (or maybe I just know how to avoid them?). I wished they had been able to do the Speed Dating at BlogHer because that is my favorite part of Day 1. I really hope that the Hilton donated the extra food from our catered meals, because there was a lot of it. Having a couple of days before the conference really got going was a good idea for us. Gave me time to settle in and feel comfortable. The Hilton staff were amazing, but they charge for a lot of incidentals that I’m used to having covered at hotels around here, and it was a bit ridiculous. Also, room service? Really, $40 for grilled cheese and a diet coke? Really!? Oh, New York. You silly bitch.

I walked around NYC a bit. I ate at some amazing restaurants / delis. I partied, but not too hard. I drank, but not too much. I cried, probably too much, when I missed my kids. DaddyGeek came with me to BlogHer this year. It was wonderful. We had a good time together, we needed that time together I think. We had a chance to connect a little bit more. We stayed in one night and just watched a movie and had food delivered and it was wonderful to snuggle up and just… relax. I uploaded 173 pictures to Flickr in a set called BlogHer10. You might want to look :) Steal whatever to use in your own recap posts, just make sure you link back to my Flickr stream.

PS I love you.

15 Comments

Obligatory BlogHer Post

Categories: making memories |

You know I can’t not post about possibly the most exciting thing to happen to me all year, right? I am fucking psyched for BlogHer this year. Last year I was overwhelmed and shy, which is very not me. This year I’ll know what to expect and it’s going to be awesome. I know people already. Awesome. I will meet new people. More awesome. I’m sure you’re getting my point.

My husband is joining me this year, too!  In other news, we are incredibly dorky. Also, this year I got a sponsorship from Headway Themes – more about that later – another post!

I’m driving to NYC with DaddyGeek and Bibliosaurus, who, BTW, is getting a super awesome fucking web design featuring DINOSAURS before the conference. YAY.

Both of them are rooming with me, plus Ewokmama, ALSO YAY, because DUH. She has “EWOK” in her name, which basically makes her automatically accepted into any and all geek/dork clubs. These things are very elite.

I am probably going to pee myself a little when I meet everyone again.  Jumping up and down after a long car ride has a tendency do to that to a girl who has had two kids and hasn’t done enough kegels. Please to be ignoring the piss stains on my pants.

I have new business cards. See?

If you need business cards, I can do that shit. Like, quick if you really need it. There’s still time!

I’m not a party girl. I’m RSVPd for a lot of parties, and there is NO WAY that I am going to miss the Mouthy Housewives party and the BlogHer Gala – other than that though I’m flexible.

We’ll be arriving on Wednesday, leaving early Sunday.

I am excited. Are you going? Pls comment and tell me. Pls? I want to meet you. Like, for realz.

I should post a vlog. I will try to do that next.

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Fun at the Res…

Categories: making memories | Tags: , , , , , , ,

Growing up, “The Res” was a place that teenagers hung out and did drugs after hours. Turns out that the reservoirs in neighboring towns around here are actually pretty nice, and great places for families during the day on the weekends ;-)

Yesterday was a lazy day filled with rain and thunderstorms, tv and lazing about. Today we made some memories. I took a lot of pictures, we splashed in the water, we made a great sand castle with a moat.

Sure, we were an hour behind schedule getting there. We dawdled a little in Target. We all have sand in unmentionable places, and we didn’t manage to take naps. That stuff doesn’t matter; it’s not what we’ll remember. We’ll remember laughing. We’ll remember playing on the playground. We’ll remember trying to make a moat around our sand castle. We’ll remember the sprinkler. We’ll remember swimming with Daddy and splashing with Mommy.

Good times.

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Wisps of Memory

Categories: making memories | Tags: , , , , , ,

I married and had children young.  It’s not something that I regret; it’s simply a fact. I was – and still am – young. I’m only 25. I’ve lived a quarter of the life I hope to live.  Sometimes I worry that things are moving too fast. I’m afraid I won’t be able to remember all the important moments clearly. I already have trouble recalling how it felt to be pregnant; what my babies looked like within minutes of their birth. I panic that I don’t have enough pictures, videos, but life is moving too fast to take more, to document everything. I’m afraid I won’t know the important moments until they’ve passed, and I have nothing to show but a fading memory.

This is choppy. It’s apt; my memories seem choppy.  Certain things stand out – feelings, smells, sights, sounds – not always a whole memory, just a flash, just a part of the big picture. I have to think hard about the date, the year, the season.

My memories are like wisps of mist trailing away as a fog clears. They’re what gets left behind when the sun is shining brightly and it’s hard to imagine anything other than this moment, right now.

7 Comments

I have lots to say …

Categories: about mommygeekology, making memories, technology | Tags: , , , , , , , ,

But no time to say it. Let’s see if this rambling post will suffice until I can sit my butt down and really write.  And for the hell of it, let’s do it bullet-style with categories.

Strong Opinions

  • If you are living and working in the USA, you need to learn to speak English. I am not going to learn to speak your native language unless I visit your native land.  The fact that our citizenship test (!!!), driver license tests (!!!), signs and even automated phone systems are available in Spanish makes me want to kick someone in the teeth. English is our national language. Fucking learn it. This should would NOT be acceptable in Germany or France, people. I love that we are a country of immigrants, melting pot the whole shebang – it makes the world interesting – but it would be nice if I didn’t have to press 1 on a phone system just to listen to it in English.
  • Justin Bieber sucks, and it looks like he sticks his face into a vacuum every morning to do his hair.
  • Glee is probably going to make waves across music departments next school year. There are over 90 songs by Glee Cast online; seriously, go take a listen. If you’re a choir teacher and you aren’t capitalizing on that, you’re probably an idiot, or boring. No, their timeline to come up with those numbers isn’t realistic, but the point is that choir can be a lot more than just standing in a white shirt and black pants and singing Handel’s Messiah. Get on the boat; music is cool.

Whining and Complaining: Short Story

  • I am busy and my brain is going to explode.
  • It’s very hot and humid out and my brain is going to explode.
  • If my brain explodes you know that no one else is going to clean it up, which means I will have to clean it, and that just sucks.

Whining and Complaining: Longer Story

  • I love the whole Rent a Geek Mom gig, but I am not doing a good job at managing the number of clients I have at one time. It’s all fine and good, then a few projects take longer than anticipated for any number of reasons and WHAMMO I have 18 clients and my brain is going to explode. Anyone out there good with the Headway Theme want to help a sista out?
  • It is over 90 degrees here today and the humidity is not quite at oppressive yet, but will be by the afternoon. The kids are at my mom’s house, which doesn’t have AC, and even putting in a window unit is iffy – regularly will blow a fuse if someone also plugs in a hair dryer or something – though she has partitioned off part of the house & is risking it in order to keep the kids cool today, which I really appreciate.

Family News (a.k.a. the “mommy” part of this “Mommy Geekology” thing)

  • Geeklet is a year and a half, and is saying maybe 20 words? She talks a lot. Most of it we cannot understand, and Cupcake tell us that she is speaking Martian, but that she can understand it. Then she narrates. It’s fucking adorable. Sometimes she narrates in falsetto, which is even more hilarious.  She dances whenever she hears Jump! by the Glee Cast and she loves to collect rocks. She has a new fascination with her sister’s princess Polly Pockets and if you don’t watch her carefully, she will climb up and lay down on the kitchen table to play with her cars. She makes vroom vroom noises and she gets down on all fours and barks like a dog sometimes, just for fun.
  • Cupcake is 4 years old. She is sweet and beautiful and smart and loving and compassionate and gorgeous, so gorgeous. She is still using binkies at night, but we’re slowly, very slowly, working on getting her off. (She uses binkies as a lovie- there isn’t anything else she’s really truly bonded with, so it’s tricky). She’s drinking milk in a big girl cup at night and she’s going potty 60% of the time. She’s talking and making up pretend friends, she sings along to all the songs on her kid shows and she plays SuperWhy! games on Daddy’s iTouch. She doesn’t love spraying water but she loves to swim in a pool/lake/pond. Her favorite snacks are cheese and crackers, or Cheez Doodles, or anything with cheese on it. She’s growing a garden with her Nana and we have a tomato that’s ready to be eaten! She’s an amazing big sister, truly a big helper around the house. She’s 4, and she’s trying our patience at every turn but I’m learning to find joy in it, at least some of the time, because it means she’s getting bigger, she’s learning, she’s strong and independent and opinionated.
  • DaddyGeek has fallen off the “going to the gym boat” — and I never got on the boat in the first place. We need to start taking better care of ourselves and losing some weight; the additional bulk and unhealthy eating has started to have side effects for me, and has continued to have side effects for him. If you have diet/workout regime/healthy lifestyle suggestions, I want – need – to hear them.

Miscellaneous

  • A while ago, we got a new living room set (Bob’s Discount Furniture FTW!) and our apartment is starting to finally feel like a home and not a mish-mash of college apartments and whatever was on sale at Target or IKEA.
  • Our carpets desperately need to be cleaned but I keep forgetting to call Stanley Steamer. If I don’t do it soon, they will just be brown, and not cream, and why the HELL do apartment complexes put cream carpets in, ANYWAY!?
  • Thank god for central air, and 24/7 maintenance when it freezes over or your dishwasher won’t work properly.
  • Yesterday Amazon.com suggested that I purchase Monistat because I had been viewing a fan. I can only assume that Amazon thinks I was going to use a fan to cool the itching and burning sensation? Because I don’t know how else these are connected. Also, I don’t have any itching or burning, so perhaps Amazon.com is also psychic? Or is that a threat? I don’t know whether to be in awe or terrified.
  • I got a new camera on Sunday, after a year of looking and comparing and reading and asking and trying to figure out what features I wanted, what featured I would actually use and what the features even were, and finally settled on a Canon PowerShot S90. It’s pretty fucking awesome, and I may try to find time to do a review of it sometime soon. The best way to describe it is like partway between a point & shoot and a DSLR; lots of control over manual features if/when I want them, only one lens, fits in my pocket, will even shoot RAW. Obviously I’ve only just started with it, but I read a bunch of tutorials and the user manual, so I think I’m on my way to half-way decent photos. At the very least, this time in the kids lives will be well documented.  Some images below – no post-production work on these.  You can see the rest in my Flickr feed.

Learning about image composition: angles make for interesting shots?

This didn't come out quite right, but I was playing around in full manual mode, setting apeture, focus, ISO, shutter speed - the whole shebang.

I figured out how to get the fuzzy background effect on small objects... it's harder with moving objects.

There's a cool color isolation option on this camera.

The background isn't as fuzzy as I was going for (OMG THE CLUTTER HALP ME HIDE IT) but I was getting there.

16 Comments

String Around My Finger

Categories: General, making memories, philosophy | Tags: , , , , , ,

I think I am becoming a better mom.  I know that I am trying.  I know that my relationship with my oldest daughter is improving.  I know that I am finally making up for mistakes made early on in motherhood.

I am proud of myself.  I am proud of her.  I am proud of our family.  I think we’re doing OK.

But today I am feeling glum and dejected for no reason.  I am getting my period.  So I am reminding myself.  We are a pretty happy family.  We are a lucky family.  We love each other.  We are trying.

We are not perfect.

We don’t need to be.

We’re OK just as we are, and it doesn’t matter if others do not agree.  I am happy to listen to anyone’s criticism to see if there is a way that I may improve.  But that doesn’t mean I will change anything.

And that’s OK too.

Sometimes it’s hard to remember.

8 Comments

They Weren't Kidding When They Said to Just Relax!

Categories: about mommygeekology, making memories, married life, philosophy | Tags: ,

Have you ever asked someone older and wiser and more fuckable than you for advice on sex? There’s a good chance that sage slut said “Just relax!”

You probably nodded like that made sense, then muttered “easy for you to say, whore”and stomped off to sulk and panic.

That never happened to me, of course.

For Mother’s Day, my husband got us sex toys. Specifically some bondage toys. We’ve been wanting to learn more about BDSM and incorporate more than a few cub scout knots and creative dirty talk into our play.

Now, I’ve mentioned to A (husband) a few times that I wouldn’t mind trying a few of the advanced rope techniques outside of the typical intense official “scene”. In fact, for safety’s sake, it would be my preference. He admitted that weekend that he finally realized that I meant we could make our play more casual. That it was ok to try and figure out how to tie a chest harness while watching the latest episode of Chuck..

We tried it the other night. We started off casually, laughing a little at first and then, as we got more adventurous, a lot. Send just as quickly, we went from laughing hysterically to gasping though one of the best sexual experiences of our lives.

The best part was that, because we were so relaxed, we communicated our needs more readily and more clearly. That can only lead to more awesome sex.

I don’t think I have ever been more satisfied with a sexual encounter. In other words, it was fucking awesome.

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