Questions To Ask Yourself and How to Tell Your Husband That You Need Mediation
Getting on that part of your marriage where the end is close could be hard to accept. As a woman, you are inclined to protect the sanctity of your marriage and protect your children from being children of divorce.
However, your belief that divorce cannot happen will not stop your spouse from getting a divorce. Therefore, you should do your best to tell your spouse when you feel that it is time to get a family mediator.
If you are looking at ways to tell your husband that your marriage is already in need of therapy, you can use the following:
First, you should start a conversation about the current status of your relationship.
Are you both on the same page? Does your husband feel the same way that you do? If you think the same, you should have no problem, but if it is only you who is feeling lost in the marriage, you should tell your husband about it and decide as a couple about your marriage and its current status.
What if it is only you who thinks that there is something wrong with the marriage? Would that change your perspective?
Another thing that you should do is to ask your husband if he thinks that you are both playing the roles that you had discussed before you got married.
Marital roles are not dictated by society; it is dictated by the husband and wife. Hence, if you find yourself in the middle of a nasty struggle between whether you are going to separate from your husband or not, you should talk to your husband about it.
If you both feel that the marital roles are no longer clear, you should keep in mind that you should talk about your characters or talk with a mediator about it.
Is your husband the breadwinner at the beginning but he lost his job and you have to make ends meet? Are you getting frustrated that he is not helping out in the house when you have discussed that he will. These questions should allow you to be more open with your husband and get things straight.
On top of that, you should know how to talk even during those times when you struggle, you talk to your husband and ask him about the ways that he thinks you can save your marriage. The big problem about marital woes is that the couple continues to talk about the issue and fails to talk about a solution. If you are having problems, talk about it, discuss, then you may tell your husband that in case of an apparent “stalemate” you should hire a mediator and get one to help you.
You need to keep in mind that the best thing for you to do is to talk about solutions before saying the big words “mediation” and “therapy”.
If you can no longer talk without fighting or if you feel attacked every time that your husband is saying something about the marriage, that is when you should keep your options for a mediator open.
Finally, you need also to ask yourself if you can go through divorce proceedings before you decide to fight for your marriage.
Can you live without your husband? Can you afford not to fight for your marriage? These questions are hard questions to ask and answer, but you must try to address them for you to have a clearer picture of what you should expect.
A mediator can help you answer these questions.
As an extra tip, you should always ask the question: Do I still love my husband? Your answer would define your next steps.
Fight For Your Marriage
Now that you know how you can tell your husband that you need divorce mediator, you should try your best to do so with as little drama as possible.
Tell him that it does not mean you are giving up on the marriage but it actually means the opposite. Make sure that your husband feels that you are doing it to save the marriage and not to attack him in any way.
